saying "yes"

How often do you say "no" to your kids? That two letter word probably seems to make an appearance on your tongue every 5 seconds, doesn't it?

"No, we are about to eat dinner, you can't have a snack."

"No, no more movies, you've watch 3 today already!"

"No, I just said you can't have a snack because we are about to eat dinner!."

"No, I don't want the playdough out right now because I just cleaned the floors."

"No, please don't get out that game, we just picked up the house!"

"Didn't you hear me...we're about to eat dinner! No snacks!"

Sound familiar? I find myself saying no a lot and then going to bed wondering "Why not?" Now, of course, sometimes the answer really does have to be no...especially right before dinnertime and they are asking for snacks. At least for my kids it has to be. And after 3 movies in one day, yes, I believe the kids have had quite enough and need to go play. But my point is this...

The times when I find myself saying no a lot are the times when I am wanting something for myself.

"No, I can't read you a book right now. I need to finish the dishes (or email, or laundry, or talking on the phone, or writing a blog post *smile*)"

"No, I can't play right now because I *insert selfish excuse here*"

And yes, it is selfish. I am not saying that wanting to do things that you enjoy, like reading, scrapbooking, Pinterest and the like are wrong...but how often are you putting those things before your children? Motherhood requires the attitude of a servant, putting other people's needs before your own wants and desires. If we aren't giving our children an example of servanthood, then we will raise our children to be arrogant, selfish little brats. (And those arrogant, selfish little brats are our future leaders...scary.) As mothers (and fathers), we need to have the big picture in the forefront of our minds so that we do not lose focus. And again, I am not saying that having things that you want to do is wrong, because we should do those things - they help relax us and help us disconnect and recharge...but I will write about "Taking care of Mom" in another post.

My encouragement to you, and to myself, is to try saying "yes" more often. When we put aside our wants and desires for those five minutes to read a book, or the 15-20 minutes to build a megablock city, then you are speaking volumes of love to your child. You are letting them know that they are far more important than whatever it is you think you NEED to accomplish at that very moment. Re-evaluate. Refocus. Go play with playdough.